DOES IT COUNT AS CHEATING WHEN MARRIED PEOPLE CHAT ONLINE?
Published on: 08/20/2003
Many Women Don’t Think So
Pearl River, NY, August 20 -- Popular online dating site iMatchup.com found through its online survey on cheating that men and women have very different opinions on cheating with 48 percent of males responding that online flirting and chatting was always a form of cheating while only 35 percent of women said that chatters were cheaters.
"This could be due to the differing motives of men and women as they chat online," says Dr. Carole Altman professional therapist and content provider for iMatchup.com. "When men chat online, they are doing so mostly because they want sex. Women are often just looking for a friend online and don’t associate the chatting with sex,” said Dr. Altman. “This could explain why men are more unsympathetic in their responses while women are more forgiving."
In contrast, when looking at the whole of respondents, iMatchup.com found that almost 40 percent of the 14,000 who answered the survey feel that regardless of circumstances or motives, online flirting and chatting by married or committed adults is always considered cheating.
The remaining respondents were split down the middle on cheating; 30 percent believed that in order to be considered cheating, the online chat has to progress into a physical relationship. The other 30 percent said that it is only sometimes considered cheating and depends on the chatter’s motives.
With online dating sites officially moving into the mainstream, more people are using them every day. Getting accidentally involved with a married user is becoming more of a concern, and getting caught cheat-chatting by a spouse is a growing problem. iMatchup.com reports that six percent of its registered female members and nine percent of its males admit to being married. And while it is nearly impossible to get realistic figures on how many people registered with online dating sites are truly married, law firms and counseling organizations nationwide are reporting a huge increase in clients seeking their counsel due to involvement in cyber-affairs.
Dr. Altman, advises, “If you suspect your mate is cheating online, you are probably correct.” Dr. Altman goes on to suggest that if one does discover online infidelity, take appropriate steps. “After making sure that your suspicions are correct, you must choose to stay or leave. If you choose to stay, you have to create a contract that the cheating will stop absolutely and completely. Then the cheating partner must understand that the trust between them is lost and it must be earned back over time.”
Rinatta Paries, relationship coach and contributing editor to the iMatchup.com newsletter, advises serious online daters to look for a few simple warning signs. “Among the most obvious things that married or committed people do when creating online profiles is refuse to post a photo, use the words ‘discreet’ or ‘encounter’, or refuse to give too much personal information that may be used to identify them,” says Ms. Paries. “Look out for people who are elusive with details. They’re usually trying to hide something.”
About iMatchup
iMatchup.com is an Internet based dating site launched in November 2002. Since its inception the site has grown by approximately 10,000 new subscribers per day. It is one of the fastest growing dating sites receiving over 500,000 visits per day. iMatchup.com is a community of singles where people can be themselves and connect in a safe, secure, fun and exciting environment. Editor’s Note: Both Dr. Altman and Ms. Paries are available for interviews.
