Press and Media

Where do you find your wedding date?

Colleen Flanagan
, Play, New Haven, CT
Published on: 07/06/2004

What's worse, opening a wedding invite and seeing the dreaded "and guest" or "plus one" next to your name or opening it an just seeing your name?

Well, the answer obviously depends on your status - are you dating or aren't you.

Since those summertime invites should be flooding your mailbox shortly - if they haven't already - PLAY wanted to prepare you. We turned to iMatchup.com's match maven (a semi-official title) Stephanie Schwab, also the director of marketing for the internet dating site, who filled us in. "Men and women are a little different when it comes to dates and weddings," Schwab says. Assuming they're not in a committed relationship, "Women would rather go with a friend (37.4%) and men would just as soon go alone (41.5%)."

Schwab attributes the difference to the comfort factor that women experience at a wedding. "They may tend to feel a little outside or a little self-conscious," she says. "Women are more emotional, and a wedding is a very emotional place."

Schwab insists that a close friend, a family member who knows the bride or groom or even someone you've just started dating can all be good choices for your "plus one," as long as you handle things right.

"You want to give your date, no matter who they are, some information about the couple," advises Schwab. "How long they've been together, how they met, a little bit about their education or what they do." Schwab says that at any party, you'd tell your guest a little bit about the host, and weddings are no different .

If you're thinking about taking someone you've just started dating, or are dating casually, make sure you think things through. "Bringing a new boyfriend or girlfriend to a wedding is on the same level as bringing them home to meet your family," Schwab says. "You wouldn't take just anyone to a wedding, just like you wouldn't take just anyone home to meet mom and dad."

If you decide to bring your new boyfriend/girlfriend - if you've reached that stage - Schwab advises keeping introductions casual. "Explain your relationship," says Schwab. "Explain that this is your friend from volleyball, or that this is someone you met at work."

Of course, you could toss aside the idea of bringing a date and go on the prowl at the wedding. People say it's a good place to meet someone.

Although the overwhelming majority of iMatchup.com's respondents to their wedding poll online said it was appropriate to hook up with someone they met at a wedding (75.8% of women and 79% of men), the overwhelming majority of both groups also said they haven't had any luck trying to do so (81.9% of men and 68.7% of men).

"Most people come to weddings as a couple, and only on occasion are people sat at a single's table where they can really meet people," explains Schwab.

But even Schwab recognizes the benefits of going single to a wedding. "Yes, you may be able to meet people, but the best part is that you can be really involved in the wedding, with the bride or the groom," she says. "You can be really supportive of your friends, because most brides are flipping out anyway, and not having to worry about how your date is acting or who they're talking to frees you up to help out the ones who need it the most that day."

While you're busy stressing over who to take or how to wing it single, remember the most important part - you're going to a wedding, the public declaration of love between two people who are part of your life.

Whether or not you have someone to share it with yourself, you've been asked to share it with the bride and groom.

Respondents to iMatchup.com's poll did agree on this: 67.6% of women and 61.2% of men, even when single, felt happy for the bride and groom because they've found love.

Maybe now it's your turn.

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