Newsletters - Dr Carol Altman
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| Although our lives are satisfactory and happy at this time, we would like to share what we have with an exciting and wonderful partner. Our journey is to enjoy every day, count our blessings and be contented while we explore the possibilities afforded to us by iMatchup. It is also essential that we see ourselves as clearly as possible so that we bring the most positive and most attractive aspects of our personality and character to each and every date. Too often we tend to rationalize each situation by placing the problems outside of ourselves. If we look inside we may recognize aspects that can be modified or improved. Following is a simple questionnaire, which may direct your attention to areas you may want to examine on your next date. 1. Did you laugh? If you feel that this area needs improvement, you may want to plan conversations that will help to add more laughter. A funny story about your childhood, about your family, about a friend. A funny story about your work, your vacation, etc. This not only adds to the fun, it also helps your date to know more about you. 2. Were you warm and inviting? Did you feel comfortable and help you date to feel comfortable. A smile, a touch, a compliment, will help to establish this kind of atmosphere. 3. Did you give your date the impression that you were happy to be there and with him/her? We are all nervous on a first date. Be the one to reassure your date. Be kind and outgoing and let him/her know your positive feelings. 4. Were you critical or negative? Be honest with yourself. Did you complain about the food, did you denigrate an ex; were you less than kind to the waitress? 5. Were you controlling? The major complaint men have is that women try to take over. Women do not like this behavior either, unless it is when the men seem to be taking 'care' of them. Be careful not to cross the fine line of making a suggestion to being controlling. 6. Did you have fun? This is extremely important. Successful dates are fun. You both enjoy yourselves. Even if you feel there is no chemistry; (which I think can be developed and should not be made so important) even if you think there is no future for whatever reason - have fun. Enjoy the time. You never know what it may lead to. 7. Did you act respectful at all times? You may not like a date or even have fun on the date, but did you present yourself in a respectful and positive way? This is essential for your own self-esteem. Do not behave negatively because the situation is not to your liking, you only demean yourself. 8. Did you learn anything on your date? Explore your behavior, your attitude, your words, and your thoughts. What could you have changed? What may you want to change? What will be different next time? Dating is the exploration we embark on so that we can find what we want. Prepare for your dates, not only in what you wear and where you go, but in who YOU will be on the date and what YOU will do to find the partner of your dreams. Dr. Carole Altman is a renowned therapist whose career spans 35 years and thousands of clients. She is a regular guest speaker for various media programs and is an accomplished author. A pioneer in long distance therapy, Dr. Altman offers help for your personal issues in person or from afar. For more information and to email Dr. Carole for a free consultation visit www.drcarolealtman.com. |
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