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November 22, 2009
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Love Vixen | Dating Etiquette | Dating Q & A | Tip Today | Announcements | Horoscope

Making Long Distance Relationships Work

Making Long Distance Relationships Work

Advice for the lovelorn. (For confidentiality purposes, names in the following letters have been changed.)

Q.

Dear Rosie,

I met this amazing man online and I think we’ve really made not just a match but also a deep connection with one another. We started off on the site messaging back and forth, hitting the chat room and eventually the phone. We still do this today just a lot more phone time. We are planning to meet in ‘real’ life as they call it in a few weeks. We’ve been doing this online thing now for 3 months and haven’t yet met because we live in different states – me in Florida and him in New York.

I just don’t know how to make a long distance relationship work – I mean is it even worth it? Not being able to spend time with someone every day or even every weekend? We’re trying to be realistic because neither of us are rich folks. Should I go for it? I really think he could be the one.

Sincerely,
Far Away in Florida

A.

Dear Far Away in Florida,

Yes, it would be great if the perfect match for you that you have a connection with lived in your area but in reality that is not always the case, as you very well know. Long distance relationships can and do work for many people. It takes a special kind of person that can handle the absence of someone their ‘physically’ for them on a daily basis. However, a long distance partner is most often very committed to their partner and cherishes the quality time they get to spend together. I say go for it! Follow your heart and see where it takes you because you may just end up closer to each other than you ever thought.

As with all unconventional means of dating there are a few rules that one should follow when beginning and maintaining a long distance relationship. Here are the key points to help keep the bond strong through the miles apart:
  1. Always set goals that will benefit you both as a couple and not just individuals.
  2. You must invest time and money to make things work...i.e. phone bills and airfares.
  3. Don't venture off the commitment path. If you feel yourself wanting to stray or have strayed it is time to re-evaluate your relationship.
  4. Ask yourself if you can handle being away from your boyfriend/girlfriend for days, weeks and even months at a time. Be honest with yourself and your partner.
  5. Keep your contact commitments! Even if it is just a nightly phone call or an instant messaging date.
Good Luck and Keep Me Posted!

Rosie,
The Love Vixen


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