Newsletters - Dating Q & A
Almost a Serial Dater
Almost a Serial Dater |
| Advice for the lovelorn. (For confidentiality purposes, names in the following letters have been changed.) Almost a Serial Dater Q. Dear Rosie, I have been on the dating scene for quite some time - I consider myself almost a serial dater - almost being the key word because try as I might I don't seem to be approached all that often. I'm not really sure what I'm doing wrong. Heck, I know I'm not the greatest looking gal out there but I'm no troll either. My friends say I'm too picky but I just want what I want if you know what I mean. Are there any tips you can give me for the next time I head out. Seems to be a lot more parties I get invited to over the Christmas season and it would be nice to ring in the New Year with someone! Thanks, Almost a Serial Dater A. Dear Almost a Serial Dater, First off you're doing the right thing by getting out there! Good move on your part. It's not anything that you are doing wrong per say but there are a few things that you can do to become more approachable. Sometimes you can find a match in something you never looked at before. It's like when you go shopping and you hate something on the hanger but you try it on and you never looked so good. For starters don't limit yourself by only dating a specific kind of guy. You find love in the most unexpected places. Here are a few tips on becoming more approachable that may help you out. I know they have for me! The Do's Be Presentable - One of the primary factors in someone asking you out is how they perceive the kind of person you are based on how you look. As awful as it sounds you have only about a minute or less for a first impression to be formed of you without speaking to you. Make sure that you are wearing clothes that fit the location you are at. Always have proper hygiene! Something as simple as running a comb through messy hair before going out can make a big difference. Body Language - 90% of conversation is through body language. Make yourself open and inviting. Avoid crossing your arms and avoiding eye contact. Next time you find yourself sitting next to a date prospect turn towards the person with your body and lean in slowly through the conversation. Don't lean in to the point where the other person is uncomfortable. The first time you meet someone it's ok to put a hand on a shoulder but avoid any touching on the leg or hands as that can often be misconstrued as meaning something more then you're ready for at the time. Smile - One surefire way not to be approached by a person is to have a stone face, which means not showing any expression on your face. Wherever you are forget about all your stresses and put a smile on. Someone is bound to smile back. Even if you don't meet someone that day you will at least have put a smile on someone else's face because of it. Conversation - When you first meet someone don't use cheesy pick up lines. An honest approach will work so much better. Use open-ended questions where a conversation can start and avoid the everyday questions such as "What do you do? Where are you from?" Next time you're at your favorite watering hole and you see someone that peeks your interest use the following "I've seen you around before. I wanted to introduce myself, I'm (your name). What made you decide to come here tonight?" Good Luck and Keep Me Posted! Rosie, The Love Vixen If you have a question on life or love send your thoughts to AskUs@iMatchup.com. |
