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March 22, 2010
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The Boss or Me

The Boss or Me

Advice for the lovelorn. (For confidentiality purposes, names in the following letters have been changed.) The Boss or Me Q. Dear Rosie, I am in a fairly new relationship (only about a month now) but have found myself falling quickly for this girl. She's great and we spend almost everyday together and I can really see myself having a lasting if not lifetime relationship with this girl. There is only one problem though - and that is her boss. Her boss is actually quite involved in her personal life. She even helped get her a mortgage, has a company car, etc. Her work demands that every few weeks she is on call for emergencies which isn't a big deal at all. And I originally thought her boss was great for helping her with all these things - but now I'm not so sure. Her boss wants her to hang out with her on nights that she wants to hang out with me at least two times a week. And will even lecture her on her lifestyle, friends, etc. She is a good girl who works hard but this is starting to interfere with our relationship in a way that I feel like asking her to call me when she has more time for me than her boss. I've brought it up before and was told that we'll have to have the 'work talk' sometime soon. I really like this girl and like how things are going and I've honestly never felt this way about someone before - even in past long term relationships. I don't want to make her choose between us but what do I do to make her see that she will lose me if she can't lose some of her boss's interference in her life? Thanks, Feeling like Second to the Boss A. Dear Feeling like Second to the Boss, You need to tell your girlfriend how you feel. It may be a bit difficult to bring up to her if they are close but you are her boyfriend. There is a time and place for work and when a boss, friend or family member starts to have a negative impact on your relationship or your feelings you need to let your partner know. Let her know that she is important to you and that you do understand that she has a close relationship with her boss and that you would never ask or expect her to choose between her boss and you but that she needs to make you and your relationship a priority in her life over time out with the boss. Good Luck and Keep Me Posted!! Rosie, The Love Vixen If you have a question on life or love send your thoughts to AskUs@iMatchup.com.
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