Newsletters - Dating Q & A
Changing A Lifelong Pattern
Changing A Lifelong Pattern |
| Advice for the lovelorn. (For confidentiality purposes, names in the following letters have been changed.) Changing A Lifelong Pattern Q. Dear Rosie, I have been seeing this lady for a year and a half now, its a 60 mile apart love thing, (or so I thought) she has been sleeping with this other guy since June. I just found out last week, when she asked me to take her to the woman's clinic. I can't have kids, and she was pregnant. The problem is: I still Love her, and she is still seeing this other guy and me... Why can't I just walk away from stuff like this? This is the third time in my life this has happened, and each and every time, I stay! At least until they just get up and leave... Sincerely, Can't Walk Away A. Dear Can't Walk Away, You can't help whom you fall in love with but you can help love yourself more. You mentioned that this is not the first time that you have done this - you need to step back from yourself and take a look at the pattern of your previous relationships. Do you find that you are looking for someone that you can 'help' or nurture, rather than focusing on your own issues? Are you really in love with someone that has lied to you, betrayed you and continues to see someone else when they know your feelings for them? Or, is it being in love with someone rather than being alone. You need to work on yourself first and truly love yourself before you can truly love someone else. You need to look at who you are and be sure that you are ready to begin a relationship with someone. Ask yourself why you want to have this person as your girlfriend. If the answer is that you don't feel complete without a partner, that you need a partner to feel fulfilled or that you don't want to be alone at your age…it is time to step back and re-evaluate who you are and focus on developing your confidence and self-love before you will be able to make a relationship work with someone else. Self-appreciation will show to others and you will find someone who values and respects you for the person that you are and will truly love you. Good Luck and Keep Me Posted!! Rosie, The Love Vixen If you have a question on life or love send your thoughts to AskUs@iMatchup.com. |
