Newsletters - Dating Etiquette
Do's and Don'ts of Meeting the Family
Do's and Don'ts of Meeting the Family |
| Do's and Don'ts of Meeting the Family When the Holiday Season rolls around your chances of meeting your partners' family is bound to increase. Don't worry if it's your first time or maybe this will be the last time you meet a family for the first time you will get through it. People cannot choose their parents including you! They are probably more nervous of embarrassing your partner and wanting to make sure that once you guys are in it for the long haul that you will enjoy family get-togethers. Don't worry you'll get through it…remember it's not that they don't like you in particular. It's just that any person that a child brings home will never quite be good enough for their baby…that is until you shine and make them wonder where you've been all THEIR lives. Just keep in mind the following Do's and Don'ts when meeting the family for the first time. The Do's Manners: Family in some cases can push a couple closer together or pull them apart…and the latter happens when you do not respect them, their home or worse yet their child. Once you meet the parents or any other relative extend your hand and make sure until otherwise corrected that you address their parents as Mr. And Mrs. i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Smith (for the folks) and first names for siblings. Be charming, courteous and polite but remember to be who you are! Be Yourself: This is not the time to tell tales or to brag about that time in the frat house when you woke up in bed in a toga…with a donkey! However, you will want to ensure that the best parts that make up who you are…the reasons why your boyfriend or girlfriend feels that you are special enough to meet "The Family"! So be who you are…just toned down until the family is comfortable enough to accept you as the possible "The One" and you won't be able to do any wrong. Be Prepared: First impressions count here, think of it like a laid back interview. Find out about the family prior to meeting them at a planned engagement from the person that knows best - your partner. There is no need to find out every last detail but know what their careers are in, if they are easygoing or more reserved. This will also help you feel more comfortable throughout the introduction. Dress: Some parents do not care what their child wears but they will definitely care for what you are wearing. Find out what the plans will be and dress accordingly…if it is a formal party do not show up in jeans. Take time to look good regardless of the event. You'll be thankful you did and your partner will definitely thank you later. The Don'ts PDA's These are Public Displays of Affection (PDA's). You and your partner may be comfortable enough to be very touchy-feely with each other at this point…but their family especially their parents and your own are certainly not. Keep in mind that by being overtly affectionate with each other has its time and place and this is not it. Keep the kissing to a minimal…if you must don't use tongue. No parent wants to see their child like that remember they are the little boy or girl of these people. Be respectful keep it for when they are out of sight and earshot! Drinking There is nothing wrong with a few glasses of wine until that glass turns into the whole bottle. People lose their inhibitions when drinking so remember to keep it to a minimum because guaranteed someone there is counting how many you've had. Drinking because you get nervous…have a non-alcoholic beverage…drinking in moderation is a sign of maturity. Disrespect From being late to using obscenities in conversation to not sleeping in separate bedrooms (even if you live together) to just being plain rude…it is all a NO! Mistakes happen but someone who appears as if they don't want to be there will linger in the minds of the family and your partner. Even if you don't like the house rules, don't agree with the opinions of the family or even like the family…never let this on while in the presence of the parents even if they are out of earshot. Take any concerns that you have to your partner once you are at home and remember even if you don't like your partner's family…you do like your partner so they must have done something right! Remember just because you don't like the family doesn't mean that your partner doesn't love their parents so do not insult their parents…but do let your partner know your feelings. Rosie, The Love Vixen |
