Newsletters - Ask Holly
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| Hi Holly, I started dating this girl 2 months ago and we fell in love. We both agreed that we finally met the one we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I proposed to her and she accepted. We have been talking about a wedding since the third week of dating. We even set a date for next July. We do have problems spending time together because of our jobs but we have managed very well, until recently. I don't know if it is me or just the way things are right now. She seems to be slipping away from me; she doesn't want to spend time with me as she did. She seems to be very moody lately and I don't know what to do I have been trying to be as nice as possible but nothing seems to work. I don't want this relationship to end I love her very much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Maybe you could give me some insight on what to do or say to her. All Mixed Up Dear AMU: It sounds like your lovely may be experiencing "TMTS syndrome." TMTS is the acronym for "too much too soon." Sometimes the intensity at which a relationship starts can be daunting and overwhelming. You might consider backing off for a couple of days. Give your "fiancé" some breathing room. In the interim, it will give her a chance to demonstrate her feelings for you and hopefully a chance to miss you. If she does not initiate contact during your cool off period, it could be an indication that her heart is wondering. Additionally, if she does not call you in 2-3 days, it is time for you to have an in person heart to heart. I hope everything works out for you. Remember that you should NOT rush a lifetime commitment if either of you has any doubts about your future together. Dear Holly, I am a 27-year-old single mother. I have a guy living with me and we have a relationship but I am puzzled on what to do next? We have been just having sex since the middle of December and we knew it was just that and only that -- but about 3 weeks ago, he moved in with me. The majority of the time, he sleeps on the couch but sometimes sleeps in my bed. We have sex almost daily now and I find him getting jealous about his friends. Nevertheless, he still makes comments like "that's why I can't be serious with anybody." I don't know how to approach him about it and I am starting to fall for him. In the beginning he said let's just see where this thing goes but now I don't know how to find out where it is going without ruining the whole relationship or scaring him away. Should I just give it more time and really see where this goes or take the chance of being straightforward with him and losing him? Lovelorn with my Live-In Dear L³: It depends on your driving style. Are you the type of driver who tailgates in the far left lane at speeds of 85 and over? On the other hand, are you the driver who remains in the center lane with your hands on ten and two o'clock? Neither you nor your live-in has addressed your unadulterated sex life and the potential consequences of someone being hurt. If the only relationship disclaimer your live-in can offer is "that's why I can't be serious with anybody," then continue speeding down the freeway, carelessly. But while your enjoying the wild ride, take heed that you should NOT expect anything more or less from your in-home "bootie call." (He's not going to "buy the cow" if he can "milk it for free.") However, if you're more of a defensive driver, you can prevent a potential accident by dealing with your feelings and your living situation. My recommendation: you and your live-in should define the terms of your relationship - head-on to defuse any problems that may occur down the road. Please let me know how everything works out. Thanks for reading and sharing! Holly www.fruitionmedia.net Ask Holly is written by Holly Bentz, President of fruitionMedia.net. Share your online dating stories with us. (If we use your letter, we will not include your name or member information.) Email letters should be sent to AskHolly@iMatchup.com. Due to the high volume of emails, not all letters will be answered. For more advice on dating, check out Dating For "I Do." |
